I'll protect you
by Hipster Kitty
Summary: Highschool AU where Dean is a troubled kid with a bad rep, and hates his life. Castiel is the new kid in school and gives Dean the love and care he needs. Rated M for strong language and sexy times. TW: Self hate, abuse from father, beatings. If i forgot something please message me!
1. 1 The New Kid

It's been 3 months since Senior year began for me. I was already hating myself. The truth is, I'm strong, but soft at the same time. Middle school and Freshman years were hell for me. I was bullied, beat, blackmailed and I was done with it. If you can't beat them, Join them, right? The big school bus arrived and i stepped on. The smaller kids sat up front, so they could get off the bus faster. they cowered as I made my way past them to my place in the back. I was greeted by the "Boss" as everyone calls him. I do everything he says, I have to, or else he'll probably crush my skull with his big meaty hands. I hate him. I hate everyone else in his gang. Even me.

"Dean, where's your faggot little brother?" He hollered, his cheeks grew red rom laughter. The rest of the gang laughed in response, If we didn't appeal him, the consequences were extreme.

"After you tripped him and sprained his ankle on the bus last week, he bikes everyday. He says it's healthier anyways." Hurt was in the back of my words, I loved Sammy, I's his first year in high school and he has to deal with this shit from the Boss after two months of school.

"Good, never want to see his scrawny freshman face again. How dare he stand up to me." He grinned. God I wanted to punch his fat face in. I couldn't though, his gang would beat the shit out me ad leave me to die in the street somewhere. My dad also said if I got into serious trouble again involving these boys, I'd get the beating of my lifetime. Sam was a good kid, and I hated not being able to defend him like he does with me. He did his homework every night and helped me with mine when I even bothered with it. He ate healthy and took care of himself. Maybe I'd do the same if I didn't wish I was dead. I hated my guts and my entire life. I made horrible decisions and suffered, I never found myself and let me become a tool to society. I would probably end this suffering if it wasn't for Sam. I loved him more than anything in the world, my little brother was my life.

The bus came to a stop, the rush of kids dying to leave the bus suffocated the driver. I sighed and slung my bag over my shoulder. And waited until I could squeeze into the aisle before trying to leave, the boss gets off before any of the gang though. Selfish prick. The air bit my cheeks departing the bus, my boots crushed the thin layer of frost that the cold season brought. I wanted to find Sam, to make sure he was okay or needed anything. I made my way towards the bike racks in hope of being alone with Sam. I felt a tug at my leather jacket from behind. Shit, I thought, Bridgette.

"Babe," A high voice whined, "I got here early to see you."

I turned around, "Hey Bridge." Bridgette was pretty, she was a cheerleader, popular, and had big breasts. Most guys in the school would kill to date her, I wasn't feeling too great about her. Her bleach blonde hair was long and put up in a high pony tail, a big blue, white, and silver ribbon pinned at the base. Our school colors. She was 5"5 and had big C cup breasts. Her skin was tanned and she had brown eyes, she wore smokey eyeshadow a lot. I wasn't a fan of her makeup, but It isn't my say in anything. She grabbed my jacket and looked up at me grinning, she wanted something.

"Soo, there is a party next week on Friday and I was wondering if you were going?" She was fumbling with my jacket and shirt playfully.

"No." I hated parties, it was a sad excuse for teens to get wasted and fuck each other. Thats all Bridgette seemed to want from me, steal her my dads booze and make out.

She huffed, and slid her hands down to my thighs, "But Dean, I have so many things to show you," She purred, looking lustfully up at me, "I'll do _anything_."

"Look, I have to care for my brother and I-"

"Fuck your brother! Babe what about meeee?" She whined some more, god I hated her, "We have a rep to keep you know. Don't make me look like a loser."

"Fine, I'll pick you up." She leaned up and kissed me before skipping off to her other friends. The bell was going to Ring in a few minutes, I missed Sam. He always shows up to his class early.

* * *

I arrived to second period on time today, trying to rush and dodge the Boss and Bridge. The bell rang and the class slowly began to settle down, whispers flooded the room about the boy at the front of the class. He was new obviously, talking to the teacher about whatever. Mrs Capo, the history teacher pointed to the empty seat by me in the back of the class, the boy nodded and made his way towards me, making eye contact with no one. He was unique in my eyes, he seemed to not care too much about the other students opinions or comments. He took a seat by me and looked straight ahead.

"This isn't the 1940's anymore faggot." Josh, one of the Boss's petty followers whispered over to the new kid. "Dean get a look at him and his coat."

He never made any comments back, but he didn't seem scared or concerned by it at all. I looked up at Josh who was laughing his ass off, his golden blonde hair waved with each dick head laugh. I never said anything back, I just looked over at the new kid. He seemed nice, independent, someone who knew his priorities.

20 minutes into class and I thought I'd introduce myself. "Hey, I'm Dean." I whispered over to him.

"I know." He replied, not even looking at me. His voice was stern.

"Look, Josh is a prick, I'm really sorry." I begged. He didn't reply, he continued to stare at the front of the class. Josh had left class after 10 minutes to "Use the bathroom".

"Uh, whats your name?" I asked. His dark brown hair was a tad messy, A little longer than mine.

"Castiel Novak."

"What?" I wasn't sure if I heard him right, he had such a weird name. He still never made any eye contact.

He sighed and turned slowly to me, "Cas, you can call me Cas." His eyes were a light blue and looked directly into mine, it shocked me a bit. He was a pretty good looking guy, even if he never smiled.

"Soo, Cas-" I began to speak some more. The bell interrupted and Cas grabbed his stuff quickly.

"I'll talk to you later." He said. He left the room without ever looking back. I stood up to leave, Cas had something about him that I really admired. Maybe I was envious of his bravery and self dependence, strength and to me, his charm.

I had him 3rd period again, he sat across the room by the windows. He gazed out and hardly paid attention. Maybe he was shy, I felt nervous but I really wanted to get to know him. I was desperate to ditch my thuggish "friends" and find someone who might set me on a right path. He never smiled when anyone spoke to him, he hardly showed any emotion.

I decided to go into the lunch room with Bridgette, she always meets me and walks me to the back doors where the Boss and the rest of us hangout for the break. Today she seemed super happy that I was going in with her, I just wanted to find Cas and keep him company. Well, I was the one that needed it the most, a break from second-hand smoking around the Boss or being touched all over by Bridgette in front of her other slut friends.

I looked around the crowded cafeteria, hoping to spot the new kid in the trench coat, no luck, he was no where. Maybe he was outside..

"Right Dean?" Bridgette chirped, her red head friend looked up at him like he was the most delicious thing in the room?

"What?" I shook my head. She had been talking tome for around 20 minutes and I wasn't even aware.

"You're funny." She shot me a nasty glare. They sat at their table, where all the cheerleaders sit, and started gossiping like there was no tomorrow. "Dean," She batted her eyelashes. Fuck. I pulled out my wallet and threw a 10 dollar bill down on the table. That's all she ever wants. My wallet was draining fast. The girls all got up to buy beverages and I took this chance to bolt.

The library was nearly empty. No Castiel. The back field wasn't the place either. I checked the halls, even the places where the kids go to smoke and vandalize. I took the long way around through the messy shrubbery and garbage, hopefully no one would talk to me. Maybe I should have kept being the kid that gets beat up and gets his money stolen. Now I'm beat and bruised on the inside, my girlfriend is in love with my wallet, AND I'm a douche that hangs around and slaves for the Boss and the rest of his gang. I feel like I'm some kinda worthless prick who disappoints my father and can't be an idol for Sam. When my mother died at the age of 5, my dad blamed it on me, the fire started in Sams room which I was playing in before heading to bed. Our mom put Sam and I first and she said she forgot something and ran back in, but never came out. My father insisted it was me playing with the electrical socket and started it. It wasn't, but whats the point in changing his mind if that's what he wants to think. Sam knows it's not my fault, we rarely argue, and when we do, It's because I did something to fuck up real bad and he is concerned, and I'm not ready to face myself about it. He listens, coaches, and loves me. He is the world to me, I wish I could do more for him.

"Dean?" A low voice questioned.

I flinched and looked around, the short kid in the beige trench coat looked up at me, still expressionless. He was behind a tree, near the front of the building, hidden under overgrown vegetation.

"Cas, I didn't see you." I said, "What're you doing over here, no one goes over here?"

"Exactly," He set down a turkey sandwich and closed his book, "But you're back here, why?"

"Hiding. I guess." I stared down at my feet, old trash framing them.

"You look upset," He said, his tone was different this time, concerned, "Aren't you at the top of the food-chain here in Crowley high?"

"It's not like that." I scoffed, annoyed that I already came off as a bully to the new kid. I can't even meet new people my reputation is that bad.

"Do you want to sit?" Cas asked, clearing the spot next to him, "I know you're a good guy Dean, I can tell. But please explain."

Man, Cas talked like a politician or a GPS navigator. Whatever, Dean liked it, It was a little nerdy but kinda cute. "I hate Bridgette."

"Why?" Cas asked, picking his sandwich back up, "Is she the one with the bleach blonde hair, the cheerleader?"

"Yea, the walking wallet destroyer. Every buck I work for goes to her makeup supply or smoothies her and her friends get everyday. She's really rich, her dad owns an entire company for fucks sake." I said, pulling out my old leather wallet, there were only a few ones in it. "I started out with 60 last week. I was saving to treat Sammy to something special."

"Who's Sammy?"

"Oh, my little brother, I love him a lot, practically raise him. He's a good kid, nothing like me."

"Your parents? What about them?"

"My mom died when I was 5, my dad says its my fault, ever since he has been a sloppy drunk who neglects us and doesn't come home for days."

"I'm so sorry about that, My parents died too. My aunt raises me." Castiel mentioned, he was lighting up a bit, more relaxed. Castiel reached into his bag and pulled out a slice of apple pie. "Do you want this? I'm not much a fan of sweets. My aunt insisted I take it."

"Fuck, you're like my brother. I'd take that any day." I grabbed the pie and dove right in. "You know, my mom used to bake pies all the time."

"I see, you find it comforting." Cas smiled._ He fucking smiled_. I must have said something right.

I smiled back. I was desperate for someone to come into my life and help me, be there for me, someone to call a friend. "Cas, why did you switch to this school? Did you move?"

Cas looked down, his expression was more serious. "I couldn't save someone I cared about, he hung himself after school. He was the only one who liked me, he had a lot of problems at home and with the other kids, he just got fed up one day." His thumbs fumbled with each other and h struggled with a lump in his throat.

I looked at his nervous hands and spoke up, "Cas, I'm sure it wasn't your fault, don't beat yourself up. Maybe I can be someone to lean on?"

Castiel looked up, obviously holding back tears as best he could. "Dean, thank you. I'm sorry for how I acted earlier, I don't want to be known as someone who can't save a soul."

The lunch bell rang, and I helped Cas pack up his belongings and we went to the front of the school. Josh was throwing paper balls over to Rich, his best friend. He noticed me and smirked, walking over to me he got Rich to follow his heels. "Dean, man, what are you doing with this nerd?" He grinned over at Cas, who wasn't speaking.

"Man, nothing. Just let him go, he's new." I rolled my head, I was so fucking tired of this.

"Homo." Rich coughed, the two boys burst into laughter and walked towards the doors. I was taken back by his words, i felt so confused and upset. Ive never been called that before. It.. it wasn't as rude as I thought.

"Dean, are you actually gay?" Cas questioned, walking me into the building. He never broke eye contact, he sure opened up to me fast.

"Fuck, man, I have Bridgette. Just don't talk about It anymore." I grumbled. I showed Cas to his art class and then walked over to my cooking class, barely making it. God, can I not cook! I burn everything, pour salt instead of sugar, read measurements wrong, I was so used to buying boxed meals or take-out for Sammy. Our father rarely got us food, he sometimes leaves a 20 on the counter so I can buy groceries after school. I think the teacher is so fed up with me that she hardly bothers to check my food. C'mon, we all know what grade i'm getting. Today we were supposed to make cookies. _Cookies_. And I managed to fuck that up somehow. I don't even wan't to talk about how they tasted. Class was over before I knew it, and fourth and fifth period too. God, all these classes were boring. Bridgette waited outside my fifth period class.

"Hey Bridge." I grabbed her hands and we walked to the next class, I had sixth period with Bridge and the Boss. Her hands were really smooth, but they were small. It was really uncomfortable when we held hands. Her fake nails rubbing against my knuckles drove me insane, plastic digging into my skin.

"...And then Carly slept with him at the last party but he is denying it and saying it was Alex, but I KNOW Alex would never! I mean, have you seen her nose? Ben is the only one who would be desperate enough to bang Carly and then regret it morning after and-"

Shut up, shut up shut up shut up! No one even cares! I for sure don't care. I know she blows other guys for presents and stuff, but I don't care. I would dump her, but Josh would beat me up, they're step-siblings. Her father would most likely come after me with a rifle if I "Broke her heart" and let me tell you, the night I met him was agitating. Her cheerleader friends would set up a big scene to ruin my life with, It's happened to one of their ex's before. We got in class and i took my seat, Bridgette invited herself onto my lap. I turned around and saw Cas sitting behind me, reading his book. He looked really involved in it.

"Is it good?" I asked, ignoring Bridgette while she texts, her frail little body sitting on me.

Cas didn't look up, "Everyone is dying and coming back." he sighed "Supernatural is a terrible series. Don't read it if you can."

I laughed, Cas looked up and grinned. His smile was really nice and big, It made me happy.

"Your boyfriend and you really get along huh?" The boss sat down with a thump, he was a little big. Castiel slowly stopped grinning and turned back to his book. This fucking sucked, Bridgette sat in front of me, the boss sat next to me, and now poor Cas sits behind me.

"Shut the hell up dick." I sputtered.

Bridgette stopped texting and stared wide eyed up at me, The Boss's glare made me want to die right then and there.

"What the fuck did you just say to me?" He stood and and took a step toward me.

"Look I'm-"

He grabbed my shirt and pulled me into a choking grip."Next time you speak to me I will leave you and your boyfriends body in a dumpster. Hear me?"

"Why do you do this? Make others tremble in your presence?" Castiel spoke up. His tone calm and serious.

"You better watch your fucking back, gay boy."

"My sexuality has no part in this dispute."

"Who the hell are you?"

Castiel remained calm the entire time, he was defiantly going to get beat up later. Before anyone could say anything else, the class bell rang and the teacher walked in, she was always across the hall talking to the janitor. thats why she is always late to class. It was gross, two 50 year olds getting at in in the custodian closet. The boss shoved Cas into his chair, hard. I turned to Bridgette, she shrugged. I shot her a nasty glare and she fake pouted. If only I could just beat the living shit out of everyone. I turned to the Boss, his real name is Bradley, he hated it when anyone but the teachers call him that. Bradley smirked at me and shook his head, a grave expression spread across his lips.

I let out the painful breath I was holding in. This wasn't good at all.

* * *

I dropped Bridgette off at her bus, she gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and hurried onto the bus, everyone got a real good view of her ass. I turned around and sighed, I just wanted to find Sam before he leaves campus. I wanted to catch up and walk home with him, just the two of us. I pushed my way through the flood of students in desperation to get to Sam in time. He usually grabs his bike and leaves, never lingering. But some days he will be with his girlfriend Jessica. I caught view of the bike racks and his bike was already gone. Fuck, I just want to be with someone who makes me happy.

"Dean!" A smaller boy ran up to me gasping, he had sweat on his hairline and looked really scared, "The -uh- Boss wants you to meet him out by the hangout."

I gulped, "Why did he send you? What does he need today?" Huffing and slinging my duffle bag over my other shoulder.

"He says that if you don't come you're going to seriously regret it."

The boy ran off and I prepared myself to get a serious ass kicking from him and the rest of the guys. I trudged my leather boots against the concrete and walked toward the sports field, behind the far set of bleachers is where I found them.

"What did you need?" I snapped, impatient. I scanned the area, a few of the group members were smoking some pot with the school stoners. The boss and Josh were pinning someones arms back.

"Dean, hey man, we got your boyfriend here," They shifted and exposed the smaller boy looking weak and slightly struggling, "We were just going to threaten you two and leave it at that, but this moron decided to confront us."

"Dean, I-" Cas tried to sputter, blood dripping out of his nose.

"Let him go," I yelled, "What the hell does he have to do with anything?!"

"Tell him what you did." Josh elbowed him in the ribs, Cas squinted hard and groaned his next words.

"Dean, I- I was at my locker and I overheard them talking about you, saying you were worthless and a tool, I spoke up and told them about how you felt. I never meant for this to happen. I told them how you were a good guy underneath the bully act, and they grabbed me and took me here." He looked down, ashamed obviously.

I took a step forward, "Let him go or I'll kick all your ass's" I honestly could take one or two of them, but if five took me at once and pinned me down, I would die.  
The Boss was angry, he took a big fist to my face, causing my nose to pour blood.

"You never talk about me like that again, hear me faggot?" He kicked me in the stomach, one of the boys was holding Castiel back and making him watch. He had a pained expression, trying to look away.

"Just let him go, please, do whatever you want to me!" I begged, enduring fist after fist to my face, my jaws ached and my eyes were almost swollen over. Another boy was kicking my side and I thought that I was going to die, I've never been beat this bad.

"Okay, lay off, I think he gets the point." Rich said, slowly the hits came to a stop. "Next fucking time Dean and you'll be rotting in Hell." they gathered their things and tossed one of their joints at me. Their laughing slowly faded until Dean and Cas were alone.

"Dean!" Castiel ran over to me, his face bruised and the blood drying. I groaned, I could hardly move without an intense sore feeling in my sides increasing, "I'm so sorry, I should never have opened my mouth, this is all my fault."

"Castiel," I managed to mutter, my face was hurting more and more, the pain kicking in, "I'm sorry for even getting you involved in my life, I'm bad news." I felt like crying, my sensitive side clawing to break through me.

Castiel grabbed my wrists and gently pulled me up. I was biting my tongue to keep myself from yelling out. He tried his best to lift me onto my feet and slung my arm over his shoulder, assisting me to the front of the school and onto one of the benches. I'll admit, I could have walked if I tried harder, but I oddly enjoyed how strong yet gentle Cas's grip was, and how determined he was to get me somewhere better. Cas slowly lowered me onto the bench near the front doors and sat beside me.

"Dean, are you in need of medical assistance? Would you like me to take you to a hospital?" Castiel rested his hand on my shoulder, looking genuinely concerned for my well being.

I looked up into his blue eyes, they were really nice, loving, "Cas, It's okay," I smiled, but i could taste blood in my mouth and quickly stopped smiling,"I just need to get cleaned up before I return home."

Castiel smiled back, "I have plenty of first aid at my place," His eyes shifted away from mine, "But only if you're okay with being over for awhile, my Aunt works late shifts and doesnt come home until 11."

I knew my dad wouldn't care if I was out until curfew,"Why the hell not, I hurt like a bitch" I coughed, my bruised muscles were really sensitive to any sudden movement. Cas stood up, and pulled me up with him.

"Let's catch a bus, I live a awhile away."

* * *

His house was impressive, bigger than mine, he had a huge front door and a gated lawn. The inside was even better, big kitchen and living room. The walls were covered in shelves full of books, The wood floor was really clean and there was no dust anywhere. He helped me up the stairs to a second floor, just as clean.

"My aunt cleans a lot in her free time." He mentioned, noticing my awe for his house. Cas took a small breath and opened the door to his room. The walls were blue and he had a massive bed. An overflowing shelf took up one of his walls. It was pretty clean, only a few shirts were lying on the floor. His walls were covered in posters and photographs. "Sit." Cas sat me on his bed. Oh my god it was really soft. He must have a lot of money to have things so grand and nice. He wandered into his bathroom to get supplies. His own fucking bathroom. It must be nice, I've been growing up with top ramen and a cheap ass place. Castiel came out with an armload of bandages and rubbing alcohol, setting everything beside me on his perfectly white sheets. He was silent as he walked to his door and took off his trench coat, hanging it up on a hook. He was really neat and organized, I usually toss my jacket at then end of my bed and call it good.

"Dean take your jacket off." He said, sitting next to me on the bed. I did as he said, his eyes watched the entire time. "You're bruised real bad." He shook his head, interrupting whatever was in his mind. Cas leaned towards me, patting a cloth on my facial wounds, the alcohol burned, but it was relieving of the pain. His hand slowly lifted off the bed and rested on my shoulder, balancing himself. His hands were delicate and his face was intent. "Are you alright? You're breathing is different suddenly." His hands drifted to my bottom lip, cleaning the cut on it. His fingers would sometimes lightly graze my mouth and he would quickly move his hand somewhere else. He kept going, lifting the sleeves of my T-shirt to get my entire arm. Every time I flinched or gasped from the burning sensation of the alcohol, Cas would immediately stop and ask if I was fine. It was really nice, someone patching your fucked up body with loving hands, hopefully he could fix my mind too.

"Uhm, I need to patch up your chest, you were kicked pretty hard.." He nervously rubbed his neck, "Would you mind removing your shirt?"

I sat there for a second, this was really weird. My face was hot while I pulled my dirty shirt over my head, embarrassed. I was in some guys house, on his bed, shirtless, and he was touching me. "Uh," I laughed, "This is sorta embarrassing."

"Would you like me to stop? I can respect that." He laughed.

"No, no, I'm fine."

Castiel shrugged and proceeded to run the alcohol soaked cloth run down my fit torso. The welts stinging on contact. My bruises were dark and purple around the ribs, "Are you sure you don't want to go to the hospital?" He said quietly.

"I'm already getting medical care from you, Doctor Novak." I smirked. Cas grinned wide.

"Well, Dean. It appears you have herpes." He said in his serious tone, I wondered how he could keep a straight face so well. I swear this has been the happiest I've been in a long time. It was insane how cool this guy was, making jokes with me and having small disputes over movies. We finished up, and I helped him organize the supplies. We went downstairs and he walked me to the front door.

"Thanks again man." I smiled, my joints were still sore. He was quiet for a bit, contemplating something. I couldn't help but notice how tight his blue T-shirt was, he was definitely fit, he did have a bunch of weights in the living room. I was envious, he was strong, caring, and has a pretty nice life all around. I wondered if he ever felt lonely, his aunt is hardly around for her job, and he doesn't seem to have left anyone behind from his old school.

"Uhm, I'll see you tomorrow." Castiel looked down, seeming suddenly upset. He shut the door slowly and I took a long walk home. It took around an hour, but I eventually arrived. My dad was furious, a light scent of alcohol on him. Sam was in his room.

"Dean where the hell were you?" He shouted, "What happened to your face?" He looked pissed.

"Nothing, drop it." I tried to walk past him, but he blocked me. His grip was strong, drunk anger in his eyes.

"Dean, you're a real screw up, I'm tired of you being so disobedient and selfish," His hands jerked away, "Why can't you just be like Sam?" He sighed and wandered to his room, slamming the door shut. He was right, I wish I could be sam. He was smart, loyal, honest, had a girlfriend who he loved, and did what was best for everyone. I decided to check up on him, hearing his music quietly play through the cracks in his door.

"Nice song." I smiled, opening the door to Sam's room. He was sitting on his bed with Jessica, his girlfriend. They were working on math homework together.

"Dean, what happened?" He asked, Jessica looked scared. I must come off as some kinda thug in her eyes, she always avoided me and no matter how many times Sam has tried to change her mind, it was useless.

"The guys were using the new kid as a hostage to get back at me. And I tried to change his mind, So they pinned me and beat me." I sighed, the look in Sam's eyes were painful to make contact with.

"Why were you out so late, when did this happen?"

"After school, then I went to Castiel's house and he cleaned me up."

"The new kid in your grade? He seems like a loner type, never smiles or interacts with anyone." Jessica spoke up. She was a nice girl, I think deep down she knew I wasn't as bad as she was making it seem.

"Yea, he is a good guy." I nodded and left them alone. I hope I'm not screwed tomorrow. I hope Cas will be okay too. I locked myself in my room and spent the entire night trying not to imagine the hell that comes in the morning.


	2. 2 A Night To Remember

It was the day of the party, all the eager teens were waiting for school to end and get hammered. The week after the beating was a little tough, getting slammed into lockers, called names, threats too. But it died down and they took me back in, I didn't really have a choice, to be honest. It was hard to talk to Castiel in front of The Boss, but I guess he got used to it. That doesn't mean the name calling stopped though. Bridgette was real flirty with me today and kept talking about the party. I bought her lunch and disappeared to find Cas like I do everyday. We met up behind the tree under the thick foliage and sat. He brought me pie every few days.

"So, Cas, there's a party tonight at one of the football players house, I'm not sure which one.."

"And?" He sounded skeptical.

"Wanna go? I mean, Bridgette is making me and I at least want to be there with someone I don't feel like stabbing." I laughed nervously, wishing Castiel would say yes.

"What's in it for me? I don't see a reason I should go other than you."

I smiled, Castiel was really cool. He made sure to always be at my aid whenever someone harassed me or hurt me. I think he enjoys my company too, I'm the only one I've seen make him smile or laugh. Every time we sat together he would make little comments as he read his books, and even the days where we sat together and never spoke, It was still nice being with him.

"Please Cas, what'll it take?" I pleaded. I didn't know how I was going to survive the night without him.

Castiel grew quiet. I knew he was contemplating it because he always puts his hand to his chin and stares off whenever he thinks deeply. A small smile lifted up. "I'll go, I have nothing to do tonight. But I need a ride."

"Of course man!" I grinned, "I'll be there at 8:30."

* * *

I went through the rest of the day quick. The school was talking about the party all day and it seemed everyone was going. A few times a year someone would throw a huge party that the kids never forget. It's sort of a stupid tradition and I've gone to some of them with Bridgette before. I wouldn't say it was enjoyable in any way. I walked Bridge over to her bus, she winked and boarded it. "See you tonight babe."

It was weird, I was feeling sort of excited to go to this sleazy party. I couldn't quite place it, maybe because Id be hanging out with someone to keep me from going crazy. I wonder why Castiel decided to join me, he's honestly a great friend. I wonder how mad Bridge would be if I stopped by Cas's house. I would actually like to see that, maybe she would lay off of me during the party for a bit. Arriving home quickly, I showered and slipped back into my clothes. Dad was gone, but the Impala was still here. It was a gift for my 16th birthday from my dad, a hand-me-down. It was still the only car we had, and my dad used it from time to time, but I loved it. She was sleek and dark black. A strong 67 Chevy Impala. Her engine purred and the feeling of the old car was indescribable compared to modern day cars. I made Sam a quick dinner of Mac and Cheese while he watched TV. I had to leave in an hour, so I decided to kill time and spend it with Sammy. 20 minutes later, my cell went off.

"Pick me up. x" Bridgette texted me, it was time to go.

"Sammy, I'm going to be out tonight and I'm not sure when ill be back, be safe okay? Go to Jessica's if you need to." I pulled my jacket back on with a sigh.

"Dean, I'll be fine. Dad will be back soon anyways. Please be safe too."

I waved and headed out. The sky was already dark and the air had a chill to it. It was almost winter and I could only imagine all the girls in little clothes biting down on their teeth from the cold. Slamming my door shut and blasting the radio to drown out my thoughts, I drove my way to Bridgette's house. She lived a few minutes away by car, but too far to walk. Thank god. Her house was big, like Castiels. I pulled up front and saw her run off her porch towards me. She was a wearing tight shiny miniskirt, matching stilettos and a top that made her boobs pour out.

"Deaannn, you like?" She was really excited, she wouldn't sit still and her face beamed.

"Always." I smiled. She was a pretty girl, honest. And I know tons of people that would kill to have her. I think she doesn't fully know it, and that's why she does the things she does, seeks attention and coats herself in cosmetics. She says she is pretty and acts like number one, but I can tell that that's how she _wants_ people to see her. Even though she was popular and pretty, I wasn't feeling it with her. Her personality and begging was annoying, but that wasn't it.

"Dean, we're going the wrong way." Bridgette moaned, her feet kicked in frustration.

"Relax, I'm picking someone up."

"Oh my fucking god," She let out the loudest groan I may have ever heard, "Are you picking up your stupid new boyfriend?"

"Stop calling him my boyfriend," I barked, "It's like I can't even have a decent friend without someone coming along and crushing things! Look, we're here, then we'll be at the party before you know it." I pulled the impala to a stop in front of his house, he was waiting on the porch. I honked the horn and he jumped up and ran to the car. He wasn't wearing his trench coat as usual. He wore just a white T shirt and basic denim pants.

"Dean, thanks." He climbed in the back and shut the door gently, "Hello Bridgette."

"Hi." Bridgette mumbled quietly, I guess she didn't want anything to do with him. I started driving again, no one really said anything the rest of the ride, which was thankfully not long. we were finally on the last street and we followed the flashing lights and sounds of yelling. After pulling up, Bridgette rushed out of the Impala to meet her group of barely dressed friends. She waved back at me and ran in.

"Well its good she's excited." I sighed, parking nearby. Cas and I got out of the car and made our way to the large and crowded house. The music was loud and it was sort of a mess, the party animal kind. A boy stumbled past me and puked all over the curb, dropping his red plastic cup and spilling booze. There were the people sitting on the front lawn and had their shit together, then there was the kids making out against the walls and behind trees, and then the kids puking and crying; We weren't even inside yet.

"Is this a normal party, Dean?" Cas looked around as we stepped inside. His expression was disturbed and priceless. He didn't seem to know what was going on.

"You've never been to a party like this? Stick with me man." I laughed. We made our way slowly through the crowd of teens and towards the food and drinks. The chips and pizza slices were disorganized and messy, but the alcohol was in better shape. I slid the cooler out from under the table and pulled out two cheap bottles of beer.

"Fuck it. Cas?" I held out a bottle for him.

"I- I shouldn't." He looked down, he always did that.

"C'mon man, It's one beer, nothing will happen."

Castiel took it hesitantly. Eyeing it weirdly before popping the cap off and taking a swig of it. I was expecting a weird face or something, but his face remained still and emotionless. "What else happens at parties?"

We wandered around, stopping to watch games of spin the bottle and truth or dare. I lost track of how many times Bridgette has kissed someone and taken her shirt off. She did come and try to be with me for a bit, slipping her hands up my shirt or pulling at the waistline on my jeans. She got bored after I didn't give in to it, we did kiss for a bit, it was lame. Cas and I started our second beer, because why not? A short girl with pretty black hair came up to Castiel and started flirting real intently. She didn't go to our school but she wanted Cas. Getting really close and hinting strongly about wanting to get him alone. I don't know if he has never talked to a girl before or if something else was the matter, because all he did was stand there awkwardly and quiet. She gave up and left and Cas let out a short breath. I was laughing really hard, he told me to shut up but man was he cute like a puppy. We went around and took note of what all our classmates were up to. It was amusing watching the freshmen get buzzed and panic and the most unpopular of people getting it on. Castiel was clearly getting nervous as I went to grab a third bottle of beer for him and I. He declined it, so I drank both. I wasn't drunk but I was pretty damn close.

"Dean, you seem sad." Castiel turned to me, we were leaning on the wall watching another game of spin the bottle. Bridgette was playing this one too.

I was, it just suddenly washed over me. I never got to have fun like this, friends, a lover even. And here everyone was, feeling on top of the world with each other. "Yea, I'm just.."

"Lets talk about it, somewhere quieter." Cas pulled me off the wall and I followed him up a set of stairs. This floor was less crowded than the one below, multiple hallways branching out. How many rooms does a rich family need? It still wasn't quiet up here, Cas led me down a hallway past rooms which were clearly occupied from the sounds of it. He peeked into a room at the end of the hall and grinned.

"It's empty, we have privacy to talk." He shut the door behind me and we plopped down on the big bed. It must have been the parents room or some kinda guest room. The decor was simple and everything was neat and tidy. The lighting in here was slightly dim and calming.

"Dean, what is the matter?" Cas asked, sitting beside me.

I swished the last of the beer in my fourth bottle around, I sighed, "I'm stupid and drunk, I left Sam all alone just to come to this stupid party, I have no idea where Bridgette is and she is probably mad. And I dragged you along and made you stay with me in this stupid house."

Castiel was quiet for awhile, contemplating again. He was always so serious. "It was fun coming here with you, Dean," His sky blue eyes slowly moving up to mine, "I like being with you, no matter where."

Castiel made me really happy, he said what I wanted to hear and meant it, he was a great friend. "I still can't be a brother to Sam or a decent human being to anyone."

"One step at a time, you have me to help now, right? I can help." Cas stuck his hand out and onto my arm, It felt reassuring.

I scooted farther up onto the bed and turned closer to him, "Cas, you're great. You're so fucking great," My words slurred slightly, and I laughed, "You're the only friend that I even have and care about."

"I care about you too, Dean. I know you're troubled, and I want to be there." He smiled, looking down again. His body shifted over towards me a bit.

"I'm drunk, but I'm honest when I say you're the best thing in the fucking world, not just your personality but all the little things on the outside too," I sat up, closer to him, "The way you look down when you're contemplating things and when your hands fumble when you want things, like now!"

Cas tensed up and clenched his fists. "I don't know what you mean."

"And the way you smile real big when we talk and how consumed you are when you read. I love watching you mutter comments under your breath and you never even notice that I'm watching."

Castiel smiled slightly, and I wasn't sure if it was the alcohol or what, but It felt like everything was slowing down. He shifted his body closer and looked up at me. "I notice plenty, Dean. I see how you're mood changes around me and how sometimes you get quiet when we talk, even if you're happy."

I didn't know how to reply. No one else could point out the things in me that only he saw. It seemed every time we spoke we got closer and closer, our legs were pressed together at this point, his face only inches away from mine. I dropped the bottle and it rolled off the bed, my hand sliding closer to him.

"Cas," I whispered, our faces almost touching and the tension in his eyes building up as I got closer. I could feel his warm breath, short and jagged against my lips.

"Dean, I-"

I don't know what overcame me. I grabbed his chin and pulled him forward, our lips interlocking. My hands holding his face gently. Soft and warm, the kiss lingering on. My heart started racing and I felt embarrassed. I jerked away quickly.

"Fuck, I didn't mean to, I have no Idea what happened and-" Castiel let out a dreamy smile and gently pulled the flap on my jacket towards him, embracing me with another kiss. I let out a satisfied groan, our lips moving together in synchronizing motions. I could feel the corners of his pleasing and soft mouth lift into a subtle smile. The light, loving kisses were incredible, but I wanted more. I pulled away and he adjusted his body so he was facing me. My breathing grew heavier and I leaned back into him. gripping his thighs and pushing harder on his mouth, our lips pulling on one another.

"Dean." Cas gasped softly, his hands moving up near my neck from behind, clutching my back intensively. I took my hands off his thighs and pressed him onto his back. Our lips met roughly and tongues collided. His hot breath had a faint scent of beer and it left me with shivers in my spine. Cas tugged my jacket off desperately and I threw it aside. The bass from the loud speakers downstairs filled the room with muffled rumbles and quakes. The light from the dim orange lamp beside the bed gave Castiel's silky skin a luminous glow. On top of him now, my heart was racing and I couldn't drag my eyes off of his perfectly toned chest through his tight shirt. His mouth was slightly parted and begging for more of me as his eyes stared up into mine. I've never kissed Bridgette like this before, ever. I know it bothered her that I was never in the mood to kiss, but I never knew why. She said it was frustrating how I never "tried to lead onto bigger things", but I swear I couldn't. Maybe if I was drunk enough, because who knew that right now I was going to be on top of my best friend, clashing tongues, and feeling the rush of adrenalin course through me. This was wrong, I shouldn't be doing this, but I couldn't stop. His hands were clinging to my shoulders and pulling on the neck of my shirt aggressively. I gave in, to every pull and tug. Anything his body wanted me to. The denim on our jeans grinding roughly against each other. I'm not sure why I was on top, since he clearly knew what he was doing more than me. I pulled my mouth off his, taking in a quick breath.

"You're good," I panted, "Show me more." It was desperate to beg for more but I was dying for him.

"Anything for you, Dean." Castiel whispered, rolling over until he was hovering over me. I pulled his shirt over his head, he didn't hesitate to take mine off either. His eyes trailed up and down my bare torso, leaving him tense. "The light..." Cas mumbled, nodding his head in the direction of the lamp. I stretched my arm over and pulled the cord. The room instantly went dark, leaving only a deep blue glow from the midnight sky to fill in through the curtains. I rolled my eyes back onto him. I watched his eyes scan my bruised body, his smile fading. His serious expression made me nervous. I started panicking, I felt a heavy weight of guilt and I knew I shouldn't be doing this. My mind stopped racing right when Cas planted his lips on my jaw. Overwhelmed my the sensation of his kisses trailing down to my neck. The ecstatic massage of his lips and tongue going further down on my body made me grow hard. Cas noticed and I saw him grin lustfully. His mouth worked its way down lower until they hit my waist, unable to go further. He stopped and slowly peeked up at me, acknowledging my heavy breathing before looking back down and wrestling my jeans lower. His heated breathing only made my tension stronger.

Castiel was about to get further, to the best part, but the thud against the door and then the loud creak made us flinch back. A sniffling girl with red hair strut in, pouty lips and runny makeup. She noticed us and her hands shot up over her mouth.

"Dean is that you? Are you-" She looked at Cas, who was still lingering on me, hands trembling and releasing the grip on my jeans, "Oh my god." She turned to run out the door, a malicious smirk replacing her frown.

"No, wait- uh-"

"Amanda, I believe." Castiel finished for me. He began sitting up slowly and adjusting himself. A sliver of worry masked under his calm expression.

"Amanda wait, please, It's not what it looks like, I'm drunk." I begged, a lump growing in my throat.

"Dean, wow, Bridgette will be so freaked to hear about this." Amanda, the red head who happened to be my girlfriends best friend taunted.

"No, don't! I wasn't... I'm not like-"

"Too bad Dean, I never knew you and your boyfriend here would be so bold as to bang right here at the party." She rubbed the black smudge of mascara from under her eyes as she turned back to the door.

"Wait! Why're you crying? I can help, just don't say anything..."

She stopped abruptly on her way out, still and quiet. "You sure? I think you could help just fine." her bubblegum pink lips twisted into a greedy smile.

"Anything." I shot Cas a look, he was about to speak up. I felt like dying, this was never supposed to happen. I should have never caved in to this sick desire.

"Well, I just saw Josh leave with some slut. That should've been me!" Her voice growing whiny, "you guys are friends, right? Get him to be mine and I won't tell a soul."

I didn't trust her, but I could never let anyone know about this. I nodded, "Of course." Desperation was in my voice. Even with the lights out I could see Castiel fumbling with his hands anxiously. A wave of anger coursed through me, "I'm leaving." I grabbed my clothes and rushed to slip them back on. Amanda giggled faintly into her hands. I stormed out of the room, Amanda following my heels.

"I knew it, I fucking knew it!" She couldn't stop laughing, chasing me down the stairs.

My fists tensed up, "Amanda, Shut the fuck up or forget about Josh." The rage I felt towards her made my skin boil. I just wanted to punch her.

"Deanie, I think I'm the one who has control over you right now." Amanda cooed as I walked out the front door of the house. The shock of the chilly air against my hot skin snapped be out of my fit. I had troubles controlling my temper, I would always get so consumed with the aggressive thoughts that would clutter my mind. I sighed and turned around. one last look at the party. Through the wide windows on the first floor, I caught a glimpse of Castiel walking down the stairs. We met eyes briefly and he mouthed the word "Wait". I didn't, I got in my car and drove off as fast as I could, trying to shake the fact I abandoned Cas and Bridge there.

* * *

"Goodnight Dean. I hope you feel better." Sams silhouette was standing in my bedroom doorway.

"Yea. 'Night Sammy." He slowly shut the door.

I was spread out on my bed, clutching my phone. A kept telling myself that this night should've never happened, but in honesty it was one of the best nights I've ever had. I held the screen above my face, scrolling through contacts to text Josh.

"Hey man, what do you think of Amanda?" I actually could care less about hooking them up, I just needed her mouth to be kept shut.

"Nice ass, why? did u tap that" He replied, I wondered what was happening with the girl he left with.

"no, but you can."

"What?"

"she's got a thing for you." I trembled as i hit the send button. I really hoped that the anxiety in my mind would leave.

"who doesn't, ha but is she dtf"

This. This is why i never text the boys. They don't seem to care about anything but boning girls and wanting power. Maybe it wasn't worth it, maybe I could just move away and forget this mess. "well if you date her she's all yours."

"you know i don't do serious relationships Dean."

"Well she's willing to do anything so i think you should just take it." This was frustrating. Josh really had a big ego, but he usually did get his way with girls.

"you're pushing this real desperately huh dean?" He replied, 5 minutes later.

I bit my tongue, I was done for the night. I didn't want to deal with this anymore, the overwhelming stress and panic that settled in me was making me nauseous. "Whatever, just thought I'd mention that Amanda wants you."

"Well let's see how bad she does on Monday then."

I set the phone down on the stand next to my bed. I pulled the switch on my lamp and let the darkness engulf me. It's 1 in the morning and just as I thought my mind would rest, my phone buzzed. I reached over and grabbed it, grumbling to myself.

"Dean I know you're probably..." A text from Cas, I hesitated before opening it fully, "Dean I know you're probably asleep. And If I awoke you I apologize. Maybe once you're awake and see this you can understand. What happened earlier was great, you made the first move you know, and I've been wanting that for awhile now. I hope what I felt was the same for you. I see why you wouldn't want Amanda to speak of it, and I'm sorry for-" I deleted the message. I couldn't finish it, A nervous weight barred down on my chest and it made my heart race. I tossed the phone back over and buried my face in a pillow. As my drowsiness ate at me, I could almost feel Cas's lips on mine. My lips hummed at the thought. I could still feel his mouth, going lower and lower down my body. The lingering touch on me made me feel even more guilty. I wanted to keep fantasizing, I even wanted for the real deal again, but a loud voice in my head scoffed and told me I was wrong. I collapsed into a deep slumber, I planned on sleeping the entire weekend so i wouldn't be conscious.


End file.
